Grant Consultant Chic: Top 10 Accessories for the Grant Writing Consultant

MaryEllen Bergh is our resident fashion guru, and she has come up with a list of chic (and helpful!) accessories for the savvy grant writing consultant:

1.   Large bag to hold your accessories and other things that you absolutely must have with you no matter where you go. The bag should be flexible and strong enough to hold at least three 85-page Request for Applications (RFA) and in a bright color so you can always find it and others can see you coming. I prefer red. It is  neutral and goes with everything.
2. Oversized sunglasses with a bit of bling (think Lady GaGa) when you just need a different perspective or want others to think you are sophisticated and have a certain “je ne sais quoi."
3. A magnifying glass to maintain your focus on the criteria (or in my case, just to read it).
4. A colorful hat preferably with a floppy brim. The hat not only makes you look stylish when having a bad hair day but, in case you don’t have your sunglasses, can, with a tip of the head, cover up the eye roll (“You never asked me for that data.”).
5. Earplugs to save you from saying, once again, “You want to do WHAT??"
6. A chime to center yourself when you become unbalanced. I find chimes in the key of E work particularly well.
7. A leather belt to cinch in the narrative when you are 6 pages over the limit. It’s also useful to flog the nearest object if you become unbalanced and don’t have a chime. 
8.  Trendy leather boots with a bit of a heel (black is good) to protect your feet as you wade through all the sh**, uh, information.
9. A wand with a crystal of some sort (the kind of crystal does not matter but it does make the wand work better…unless you are at Hogwarts in which case a simple wooden one works best) to wave when you need the deadline pushed back or to erase the dark circles under your eyes.
10. Last, but not least, a long scarf to tie up loose ends. The scarf lends a bit of flair to your presentation and covers up flaws such as neck wrinkles as well.

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