Plagiarism is a Big Deal

It pains me to say this, but college students aren't the only folks who plagiarize.  Grant writers do it, too. I know someone who plagiarized more than a few times by lifting my writing and putting it into grants she was "writing."

Practically speaking, every time she plagiarized from a grant that I had written, she committed fraud and she harmed my reputation.  Clients don't like it when they think they are paying for original work and they learn that they are getting a product that has been cut and pasted from someone else's document.

The worst part was that she didn't think it was a big deal.

But it is a big deal.

Plagiarism is fraud.

If someone made a widget and someone else stole that widget and then passed it off as his/her own, it would be clear to everyone that a theft had occurred. Theft of ideas and written work (even small portions of written work without proper attribution) is just as damaging, particularly to those of us who earn out living with our thoughts and writing.

Plagiarism.org has some good information what does and does not constitute plagiarism and how it can be prevented.

You're Old and You Write Too Much

Yes, someone actually said that to me. Well, not exactly. What I was told was that I need to think younger in order to market to a younger audience and that my blog posts should be shorter.  Short. Pithy. Fun.

Apparently, being myself is no longer the best way to succeed.

As for being old, I'm not quite sure when that happened.  Of course, I'm not elderly by any stretch, but I know what the person who said it meant. There was a time when I was the youngest and  smartest (or so I thought) person in the room.  Not anymore. And believe it or not, I find sometimes that I get stuck on old ideas or old ways of doing things ("It works; don't fix it.") just like the old folks I used to criticize did.  Ouch.

So, I'm actively trying to open my mind to new ideas and to "think young." The "think young" part isn't easy because my brain keeps chiming in with thoughts like, "That's messy!" or "That's not professional." I have to make myself push aside that first thought and take a new look.

As for writing too much, yeah, I'm guilty. I've always had the bad habit of writing more than anyone wanted to read. In elementary school, the other kids got minimum length requirements and the teachers always gave me maximum limits. I'm the writing equivalent of someone who talks too much, and no one likes the person who hogs the conversation.

So, I'll be more brief.

Starting now.

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Losing My Wallet

I like to think I am a pretty organized person. I like knowing where to find things. I tend to put my keys and wallet in the same place each evening on the coffee table, and on the same place on my desk at the office every morning.

I find it is less stressful to know that I won’t have to search for them when I need them again. To my mind the less I have to think about things I can control, the more space in my head I’ll have for things I can’t control. I try to avoid creating problems, life gives  me enough problems  to solve.

Grant writers have to be organized because we deal with so much real and virtual paper. The stacks of documents, publications, emails, text messages, tweets, excel spreadsheets, graphics, and pictures can be overwhelming. They pile up so darned fast that important documents can get lost, overlooked, or mulch in an electronic compost pile if you aren’t careful.

I like to think of myself as an organized person but I still lose things and waste time looking for them. I don’t always follow a logical system for labeling and storing electronic files. Oh, I usually have a reason for where I put them, it’s just that I can’t always remember my reasoning 45 minutes after I have concluded my deliberations.

It doesn’t help that there are so many bloody disk drives on my computer, and CD disks, and flash drives, and external hard drives, and multiple computers! It's like having six coffee tables where I could put my keys and they were all identical; I would probably forget which coffee table I put my things on and have to scour each one before I left for work. That’s how it gets with :c and, :e and, :f and, :I drives; they all have storage and they all have folders and I forget where things are placed. That’s where I can get things horribly lost.

My systems for staying organized are imperfect and sometimes they get crisscrossed in my brain – especially when there’s a deadline.  Suddenly I’ll find that I am flinging my wallet onto the dresser in the bedroom or on the counter in the kitchen instead of the coffee table next to my Newsweek magazine that I won’t have time to read because I’ll spend fifteen minutes hunting for my wallet and cursing the ne’er-do-well who snuck in during the night to rob me.

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Graphic Credit - Chelsea Koetsveld

Fridays Are Good

It’s Friday and I find that this is the BEST day among the days of the week. Below are some reasons that I prefer Fridays to all other days.

Friday	Similarities & Differences
	Saturday is almost as good as Friday, but not quite. Friday is better because you get to anticipate Saturday, and you don’t have to mow the lawn or pick up dog poop. On Friday you can even stay out late and not worry about it.  Saturday night just isn’t as free-wheeling as Friday night because you know you have to answer to God on Sunday morning.
	Sunday just can’t compete on an anticipation scale with Friday because nobody anticipates Monday with joy unless they’re retired and have renamed all the days Saturday (quite annoying), or they’re on vacation and leaving Monday for somewhere far from the office and the lawn mower like Honolulu or Tibet. On Sunday there’s church to attend so there’s a timeline to live within which makes it more like a work day, but it’s a soft deadline and after revisiting my sins of the week, Sunday is almost as free as Saturday but there’s a subtle sadness that Monday is lurking.
	Monday, ugh…feeling ill.
	Tuesday is almost invisible, sort of like a 49 year old movie starlet who thinks a surgical makeover will make her look young and appealing.  Tuesday tries hard to get recognized by having elections on it so it gets star-spangled bunting, but the effect is like the collagen lip implants of the starlet that make her lips look less like lips and more like the rubber rafts that people use to float down the Grand Canyon. It takes a lot of lipstick and rouge to dress up Tuesday but there's no changing the fact that it's a long way from Friday. Only politicians and people named Morrie like Tuesdays.
	Wednesday is known as hump day, a word tossed about crudely by ruffians in places like Santa Monica to allude to procreation. Hump also describes physical protrusions like the one on the back of the Hunchback of Notre Dame, and to lumps of asphalt in parking lots that threaten to tear out the undercarriage of your car. There’s nothing fun about a hump.
	Thursday is almost as invisible as Tuesdays. The day does have the advantage of anticipating Friday which recommends it as perhaps the 4th best day of the week. Aside from being “Friday Eve”, the only other thing that makes Thursday worth keeping on the calendar is Thanksgiving but that’s really trying to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. Perhaps it would be best if we moved Thanksgiving to Friday or Saturday, who are we kidding?

Hundreds of sample grants, sample grant sections, ebooks, and more are available at http://grantsample.com.

The Brain Science of Grant Clients

Sometimes a grant writer is faced with an agency which has a Threshold Guardian beyond whom no man, woman, nor beast with an RFP shall pass. This can be explained by brain research about the left and right side of the brain.

The Threshold Guardians are usually Left Brainers. Left Brainers are hostile toward grants because they detest them more than an unbalanced checkbook. They may even experience a phobia about grant writers, because of their association with grants, causing them to dart furtively into maintenance closets.

I think of these grant-phobic-types as Left Brainers because the real reason they’re rankled by grants has nothing to do with the potential good a grant may do; they abhor grants because grants add uncertainty and complexity to their work lives in areas they need to control; that is, keeping the x’s and o’s in the right columns; and dotting all the I’s; crossing all of the T’s; and getting out the door promptly at quitting time. These functions give a Left Brainer pleasure and a reason to get out of bed; a way to maintain control; and the means to draw small boxes around their jobs or the missions of their organizations.

On the other side of the client brain types are grant champions, those charming and beautiful, grant loving people whom I lovingly refer to as Right Brainers. These are the big picture dreamer types who can accommodate the new ideas, change, and creativity that grants produce. Right Brainers express earnest intentions to willingly accept the extra drudge work that a grant entails; the accounting, the personnel functions, the labeling of equipment; and the cooperative planning. Right Brainers understand that extra work goes hand-in-hand with making things happen (as opposed to maintaining the status quo), which is what grant lovers are all about. The Right Brainers are entrepreneurial grant people.

To be fair, not all Left Brainers are entirely grant-phobic; but I believe a scientific study would reveal that grant phobia is in direct proportion to a person's level of activity on the right side of their brain. I’ve never met a Right Brainer that didn’t love a good grant (although a few shouldn't be running a carnival booth much less a grant program, but that’s another post entirely).

Left Brain grant misanthropes wear striped pajamas and block your path with crossed swords while Right Brainers welcome you in and offer you tea and shortbread (and contracts); so preferring Right Brainers is a No-Brainer for a working grant writer.

For further reference on the difference between Left and Right Brain functions, see below:

Description of the Left-Hemisphere Functions
• Constantly monitors our sequential, ongoing behavior
• Responsible for awareness of time, sequence, details, and order
• Responsible for auditory receptive and verbal expressive strengths
• Specializes in words, logic, analytical thinking, reading, and writing
• Responsible for boundaries and knowing right from wrong
• Knows and respects rules and deadlines

Description of the Right-Hemisphere Functions
• Alerts us to novelty; tells us when someone is lying or making a joke
• Specializes in understanding the whole picture
• Specializes in music, art, visual-spatial and/or visual-motor activities
• Helps us form mental images when we read and/or converse
• Responsible for intuitive and emotional responses.
• Helps us to form and maintain relationships

(Connell, Diane, Left Brain/Right Brain: Pathways To Reach Every Learner, accessed 1/24/12)

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Visit Grant Samples if you need a Sample Grant, Sample Budget, Sample Abstract, or Free eBooks about grant writing.

Photo Credit: Attilio Lombardo